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Title: Padme's Diary
Author: obi's girl
Theme: Alternate Universe
Challenge: What if Amidala's diary was found by Luke/ Leia (etc...) telling the truth about 'what happened' and who she really loved and/or they were actually Obi-Wan's kids. (There is a resemblance - and you never know...)

~~ 5-10 Years After Return of the Jedi ~~

Jedi Master Luke Skywalker squinted as he gazed across the Dune Sea on Tatoonie. Five years, he left the planet because there was nothing left for him. He lost his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and he had lost Ben. Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi. Luke hardly knew the man but the Jedi knew he something of his past, his family. Ben had to have known. If he separate him from Leia, his sister, he had to have known their mother.

Their mother. Luke had no memory of the woman; he grew up hearing legends about his father Anakin Skywalker but of course, they weren't true. He had come to Tatoonie on a mission: to find out who she was and hopefully, be able to bring back something to Leia.

Luke huffed, glanced around then walked towards the hut.

**

R2 whistled behind the Jedi Master as he entered the hovel. Luke nodded as R2 stopped and whirled to face him, whistling a question. He shrugged, "I don't really know what we're looking for R2 - the Force will guide us." The small droid whistled again. "I don't know - a diary, log or something. Anything."

R2 swirled his head around the other way and started to scan over various objects as Luke knelt down and opened a brown trunk. The Jedi glanced up at R2 as he continued his scans then looked back. To the human eye, it looked like there was nothing in the trunk but something told him to look further. The Jedi propped open a second compartment and began sorting through various objects until his hands rested on a diary. It had brown leather with a rusted gold seal on the center cover. Luke nodded, opening the diary. He flipped a couple pages until he came to the first entry.

~~~~

Luke shrugged, flipping to some later pages. He stopped, noticing R2 was looking right at him, reading over the passage himself. The Jedi smiled, creasing the binding with his fingers and continued on.

~~~~

Luke flinched a moment - who was this girl? He had some idea but didn't want to say anything. He nodded, reading on...

~~~~

Luke nodded, as something else dawned on him. Tatoonie? His father grew up on Tatoonie so maybe this woman was his mother. She didn't state it exactly but to Luke, it seemed like she had an affinity towards the Force thought she didn't know it herself. He smiled, flipping through some more pages until he got to the arrival at Tatoonie.

~~~Padme's Diary (CH2)
By obi's girl
Author's Note: There is sex in this fic, but it's implied and I really didn't get into detail.

Luke skimmed through the rest of the passage before moving on but as he flipped through some pages, a certain entry intrigued him.

~~~~

~~

Luke flinched. Can't stop thinking about him? In love? Wait a minute...if Padme was his mother, shouldn't she be in love with Anakin, his father? He laughed to himself, glancing over at R2 who was also reading the passage. As he finished, he twirled his head in confusion as Luke slouched back, confused as well.

"I know, R2. It doesn't make any sense to me either. None of this does. How can, Padme, my mother, if she is my mother, had fallen in love with Obi-Wan?"

The little droid only beeped as Luke continued, "Maybe this is another girl and not my mother. Maybe this Amidala is the one that falls for Anakin and not Padme."

R2 was silent a moment then strolled forward, extended a hand and flipped back through the pages until he found another entry and showed it to Luke, whom frowned.

~~~~

Luke curiously looked back at R2, rubbing his chin. He knew R2 was under the care of Bail Antilles before he came into his service on Tatoonie and that C3P-0 was with him. But before that, he knew nothing about the droids' beginnings and something told him, R2 himself, knew more about his family history than he was letting on. Luke shrugged, setting the diary down momentarily as he looked through some of Ben's things.

"I guess Ben had to have known my mother, R2. She had to trust his instincts and do whatever he told her was best...but. I don't know, just the idea that my mother had feelings for him...Ben never mentioned anything about Padme. Then again, I never asked when I had the chance."

Luke stopped looking through Ben's trunk and huffed as R2 maneuvered to stand in front of him. "Maybe it does make sense, a little bit. I mean, Anakin hated Obi-Wan...but a love triangle. It almost seems off."

R2 whistled, rotating his silver dome as Luke once again grabbed the diary again and looked further.

~~>~~

At that point, Luke had a horrified expression on his face. Oh Sithspawn! Before he read on some more, Luke calmed his nerves and quietly recited the Jedi Code. He closed his eyes briefly then opened them again and continued to read...

~~~~

Luke sat dumbfounded as he held his mother's diary in his other hand. He glanced at R2, who only scanned through the entry before Luke closed the diary completely and anxiously paced about the hovel. He tried to form words, but even that was impossible. His mother and Obi-Wan...No wander why Anakin hated Obi-Wan so much. The two of them had an affair behind Ani's back.

"No, that can't be right! This isn't right, R2!" Luke fumed, throwing up his arms, "I can't take this back to Leia and explain to her our mother had an affair with Obi-Wan Kenobi behind Anakin's back. She'd be hurt."

R2 rotated his head then whistled something else about the diary; Luke stubbornly refused, "No R2! I don't need to read anymore. I can't...It's just impossible? Isn't it?"

"I mean, if they actually --- went through with it and she got pregnant...that would mean that --." He gulped, playing with his collar; "Obi-Wan Kenobi was my father and not Anakin Skywalker."

The little droid only moaned, his red eye looking through the passage again as Luke blindly sat down, totally dazed and lost.

Padmé’s Diary (CH3)
By obi’s girl

~~<Qui-Gon nodded watching Luke replay the possibility that Ben was his father and not Anakin. For years after he crossed over, he watched Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padmé. There was the occasional flirt between Obi-Wan and Padmé but as far as he knew, that’s all there was. But he could have been wrong and missed something, a simple gesture that could have been more.

He knew, when they were alive, almost all the girls in the Temple had a crush on Obi-Wan (sometimes, Qui-Gon himself but that was rare). Obi-Wan was always flattered by girls staring at him and blushing in corners. Padmé however was different. She wasn’t a normal girl but she was special.

“Master Jedi, is something wrong?” a voice asked.

Qui-Gon didn’t need to turn around and face the young woman to know it was Padmé herself. He sensed her. She stood on his right, looking down at the well. It took awhile for her to piece together what was happening but when she did, she placed a hand over her mouth and cried, “OH SITHPAWN! That’s my diary!”

“It is, and Luke’s found it. Your son has found it.” Qui-Gon replied irritably, facing her, “Padmé, I know it’s not my business to intervene – but did you have an affair with my apprentice?”

She bit her lip, fidgeting and pacing about, “I’ve always had feelings for Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon. When you and Obi-Wan first came to Naboo, I did have a crush on him as I’m sure much of my staff did.” Referring to her handmaidens.

He crossed his arms, eyes narrowing on her, “You didn’t answer the question. Did you have an affair with Obi-Wan?”

Padmé hesitated again, glancing back at the well, looking at her son slowly draw closer to insanity. She did love Obi-Wan. He kept her from falling to the Dark side after Anakin had. He was her anchor and she was forever thankful to him. The trouble was, emotionally she had fallen out of love with Anakin and fallen in deeper love with Obi-Wan.

She nodded, “Anakin and I were already falling apart before he crossed over. Obi-Wan was there to help me through that dark time.” She paused, biting her lip, looking down, “I won’t lie to you because I know if I do, you’ll know. Obi-Wan and I did have an affair but I assure you, Luke is Anakin’s son. Not Obi-Wan’s.”

“And your absolutely sure about this?” he questioned.

Padmé rolled her eyes, leaning on the well, “What is this, an inquisition? Of course Luke is Anakin’s son. Obi-Wan told me himself. He placed his hand on my stomach and told me that Anakin’s Force signature matched that as the life inside of me.”

“I never meant to cause any trouble, but I can’t deny my feelings either. What should I do, Master Jedi?”

Qui-Gon leaned back, uncrossing his arms, “For one, Luke can’t return to Coruscant and tell his sister that he’s Obi-Wan’s son. You have to talk to him before that.”

She nodded, “What about Obi-Wan? Should I bring him along?”

“No! I think it would be better if you go alone, Padmé.” He glanced back at the well and the diary, nodding, “I still don’t understand how Obi-Wan could have ended up with your diary.”

She shrugged, “Before I died, I gave it to him to keep. My family was already gone and I didn’t trust anyone else. But I told him, no matter how strong the urge, he couldn’t read it.”

“I swear, Master Jedi, I never meant to cause any trouble. I’ll talk to Luke immediately; I don’t know what I’ll say to him  - I never expected him to find my diary.”

Qui-Gon mused, “Tell him the truth, Padmé, because he deserves to know it, despite how complicated and hurtful it might be. But I advise you, DO NOT bring Obi-Wan with you when you talk to him. He needs to hear the truth from you, not him.”

“Are you going to punish Obi-Wan?” she cried, fearful for her love.

“No. Falling in love is a natural thing. Sometimes it’s the wrong love but we can’t help that. But love is something, we, as Jedi, gave up for this life because love, on occasion, had the tendency to not only hurt us but those we loved.” Qui-Gon stated, gazing up at her, smiling partly.

Padmé nodded, “I understand your meaning, Master Jedi. Thank you.” She bowed partly and left him.

Padme's Diary (CH4)
By obi's girl

Despite Qui-Gon's warning not to bring Obi-Wan to talk to Luke, Padme went ahead and talked to Obi-Wan herself. It just didn't feel right to talk to Luke without conferring with Obi-Wan. He was after all, though she would never admit it, part of the problem. But he was also very special to her and she would never do anything to cause him pain or anguish against her.

Padme found the young Jedi meditating in the Hall of Fountains. That was a funny thing about the afterlife; life resumed as if it never ended. The Jedi Temple was as it had been years before the Clone Wars and before the Rise of Palpatine. It was a comfort to Padme that all really was not lost.

"Obi-Wan, may I speak with you?" she asked, interrupting his flow of thoughts.

He smiled, opening his eyes and facing her, "Of course, Padme. What is it?"

Padme sat down on one of the wells, under a tree, fidgeting. How was she going to tell him? Ever since that day, she never once regretted what happened between them. It was special, something Anakin could never touch but it would, ultimately, be her undoing. "Obi-Wan, remember - do you remember before the Wars and Anakin turned, our time together in my apartment?"

The Jedi was about to say something, probably about what happened, but Padme continued, "Not too long after, I wrote down everything in my diary, the diary I gave to you to keep. I thought it would be safe with you; safe because I was safe with you but I was wrong. Something's happened, far worse than anything I ever imagined." She paused, biting her lip, "Luke, my son, he's found it and he knows...about us."

Obi-Wan sat quiet for a moment, calling upon the Force to calm his nerves. Hew knew the diary belonged to Padme and she wrote everything down in it, but that one time...He hoped she would simply imprint what happened in her own memory instead of writing it down.

"Obi-Wan, are you angry?" she asked quietly, "I would understand if you are..."

He nodded, smiling partially, "I'm not angry. How did you find out Luke was in possession of your diary?"

"Qui-Gon. He was watching Luke; he was in your hut on Tatooine, looking through your things. Your Master suggested I talk to Luke, try and soothe his concerns but I'm afraid. What if he doesn't want to listen to me; what if disowns me...Obi-Wan, I could never deal with that. He's my son."

"Maybe you won't have to. Was Leia with him?"

She nodded no, "but it looked like R2 was, and R2 has a clear memory of us. He can clarify some things."

Obi-Wan huffed, "You go on ahead and talk to Luke; I'll watch from a distance. If there's a need to step in, I will."

Padme sighed, laughing to herself, "Our feelings for each other are explosive, Obi-Wan but I don't regret what happened."

He smiled, leaning forward, "I don't either." It had been so long since they were this close, but no, now was not the time for any romantic interludes. "You better go and talk to Luke. I'll catch up with you shortly."

She nodded all right, standing up. Padme stood there for a moment before turning to him again. "You're going talk to Qui-Gon, aren't you?"

"If I don't, he'll eventually confront me and demand the truth."

"I wouldn't worry too much about your Master. He wasn't harsh with me." Padme stated, though that could have because she was a woman and Luke's mother. She bit her lip again, worry washing over her.

Before leaving, she hugged Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, himself had to restrain himself from picking up her petite body and kissing her passionately. "I love you, Padme...in case I haven't told you that."

She let go, staring back at him. If time were reversed and he said that to her before what happened, she would gladly say those same words to him but once again, now wasn't the time. She kissed his hands, "I have to go now. Talk to Qui-Gon but don't be long."

>>TBC

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