Title: Making Promises
Summary: Obi/Ami fan fic. This takes place after the cremation of Qui Gon Jin. A bond is formed between Padme and Obi Wan. The song displayed is by Peter Gabriel "I Grieve". The song is so sad it’s to recognize the death of Qui Gon. Hope you enjoy, thanks! ;-) Val
Author's Note: Another story by me. Just finished watching TPM again, and I can’t beIieve that Amidala/Padme and Obi Wan only share one line with each other. And I wonder why Obi Wan is standing between Anakin and Amidala. Well, I am so happy to see my stories on the website! I have been thoroughly enjoying all the fan fiction, as well as the fan art and other features on this website. Many thanks to all the writers, readers, fan artists, others and the webmistress!
It was only one hour ago...it was all so different then…Nothing yet is really sunk in...Looks like it always did…This flesh and bone [Is just the way that we are tied in]
But there's no one home…
Now, she was standing in the large room, alone, as everyone else had already departed. It was dark, expect for the three large candles placed around the table. Something kept her there. It had to be the infinite sadness. And the pain. It paralyzed her, made her weak and lost. So many lost their lives. Including a Jedi, one who wanted to help her. She was angry, and ultimately she felt blame for the Jedi Master’s death. Poor Qui Gon, she thought. He had helped her, and now she waits for a resolution. An answer, an explanation. Will it come? Padme, also known as the great Queen Amidala stood in the Temple, asking a fallen Jedi for forgiveness and her tears continued to flow.
The cold air on his face, yet he couldn’t feel it. Didn’t want to feel anything. Numb, he thought, still in shock. To grieve, for a man who was a father to him, how could he do it? Now, he had chosen to teach Anakin and he would do it for his late master. Anything to take away the pain. And he vowed outside the temple never to fail anyone again. How could he go on, knowing he disappointed someone else. He looked to black sky and to the stars that were above. Silence all around him. No way, he thought, he heard someone crying, could it be…?
I grieve for you…And you leave me…So hard to move on…Still loving what's gone [Say] life carries on…Carries on and on and on and on…
To his amazement, stood the brave, yet stubborn Queen of Naboo. Crying, he thought, something told him inside, go to her. How would he do that? He hardly knew her, yet to him she was a kind soul who fought for her people and for fairness. During the whole mission to protect her and to find the mystery attacker, she became a part of his life. Maybe it was planned to happen. Fate? Obi Wan already lost one person close to him, he wasn’t going to lose another. Granted, he didn’t approve of Anakin at first, but now both of these souls need me. Sadly, Obi Wan was jealous of young Skywalker, as Qui Gon treated him like a son. He watched her from the door. Her pain was all around him. She needs me. Somewhere, he could hear his fallen master’s words, echo inside of him, "Comfort her". He, too felt the terrible stings of blame and now he knew she felt it too. They seemed to be in the same spot in time. An empty void, they both now held. Feeling resentment, blame, and hurt. She too was lost. What could he possibly say to her to take away the suffering?
"Your highness…" He started to say slowly, her delicate face turned and looked up at the Jedi. Clearly, she is surprised to see him watching her. Her make-up was smudged and her brown eyes filled with tears. After seeing her face and noticing her anguish, he felt speechless. Shyly, he looked to the table before her. "Why? She asked him, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them. "I’ve been asking the same question", he said quietly, looking down at his worn boots, knowing she watched him intently. As if he was in a trance, he walked over to where she stood, still obviously confused on how to help her grieve. She was waiting for answers, and so was he.
The news that truly shocks…Is the empty, empty page…While the final rattle rocks…Its empty, empty cage…And I can't handle this…
Hesitantly, he placed his arm around her allowing her to mourn with a friend. He wanted to be her friend. Would she let him comfort her? Be her friend? Obi Wan remembered seeing the young queen weeping during the cremation. He stood between Anakin and her. He wanted to say something to her, even if it was just an apology, maybe words of support during the brief ceremony. But he just looked at her, watched her, and knew her pain was like his. Slowly realizing, that’s why he stood between Anakin and Padme, because he had intended to support her and be there for her. Have to be strong, he thought. It is the right thing to do. He is needed by her. He knows she is strong like him, but neither of them knew how to handle this loss. Maybe he isn’t alone after all.
Deep down, Padme hated to have Obi Wan watch her cry. A weakness, she thought, but she tried to tell herself, he’s in pain too. She felt defenseless and vulnerable. Not every day, one sees a queen cry. Yet, she knew he felt the same way she did. Why was she scared to have someone watch her cry? Of course, because being a queen, she had to be courageous for her people. Not weak, not looked upon as a child. Padme trusted this Jedi, for the moment she met him. There is something about him, she noticed. He seemed to genuinely care, about her. Knowing that he appreciated her presence, she looked into his eyes. Eyes are the window to the soul, she thought and finally understood the meaning of the phrase. Obi Wan’s eys were the darkest blue after a storm. So much pain, she thought. He lost someone close to him. They quickly had become friends over the few short days. "I’m sorry", she whispered, if I had just…." She placed her hand on his cheek. He let her explore the roughness of his face. "No, it wasn’t your fault, your highness, do not blame yourself, please…" His voice was comforting.
I grieve for you…You leave me…Let it out and move on…Missing what's gone…
Obi Wan tried to protect her from what he felt. Could he handle this heavy burden? She will not handle it with him. I will not let her, become what I feel, he thought. And yet it was too late, inevitable, he thought. Meant to grieve together, he thought. She looked away and removed her small hand from his face. As if she knew what he was thinking, she began, "It isn’t your fault either". She moved to the table where Qui Gon laid upon an hour ago. She got down to her hands and knees. Her tiny fragile hands lay upon the table. "I never got to thank you for your help, she told him. She closed her eyes and thought of the day when she met Obi Wan and Qui Gon. "Thank you". "It was my honor", he told the queen. "What will become of Anakin?" She asked softly. "He will be trained as a Jedi." Obi Wan then approached the queen.
Padme gradually opened her eyes and watched one candle burn. "There is a parade tomorrow, followed by a ceremony. I can not possibly be there alone. Will you come,…stand beside me", she asked cautiously. Obi Wan stood behind the queen, listening to her question. Another pause followed, as he continued to watch her, he realized that for some reason he is drawn to her. Next, she turned to look at him, and noticed his eyes watched her. "I will do it…for you", he told her. Quickly, she looked away, back to the table. His eyes and the way he looked at her, made her feel nervous.
"I made a promise to both, Anakin and Qui Gon, Anakin will be a Jedi. I will not fail them. And I will always protect you", he told her. He joined her, by kneeling down onto the cold and dirty ground. Her face was pale and the make up was almost completely gone. "We can handle this together." He tried to reassure her and himself. Impulsively, he placed his hands on hers. Even her hands were cold. A true gesture of friendship, and with those moments they established a bond. "Your hands are warm", she quietly told the Jedi. "I vow to you now, that I will be there for you, your highness. I will not fail you." His words were a soft whisper. She looked back into his eyes, and saw something she didn’t quite understand. Time and fate would explain it later. "Always?", she asked. He placed a chaste kiss on the side of her hand. "Always", he told her.
Did I dream this belief…Or did I believe this dream…[How]...I will find relief…I grieve…
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