Title: I Will Remember You...
Author: obi's girl
Summary: During Epi. 3 and or/ between 3 and 4,
Obi-Wan senses a great disturbance in the Force...the
death of Amidala/Padme at Anakin's hands as Vador.
This fic is about his reaction to her death (Told from
his P.o.V). Also, a Songfic. I Will Remember You by
Sarah McLachlan.
Author's Note: This is my all time favorite piece;
next to Shades of Gray because I feel it truely
personifies the true connection between Padme &
Obi-Wan and his feelings for her.
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Drama
Disclaimer: I Will Remember You is by Sarah McLachlan
and everything SW belongs to GL.
I saw you one night in my dreams. I felt your fear. It felt like a sharp knife, piercing my heart. I wanted to keep you safe, keep you from feeling that way but I couldn't. I couldn't even keep you falling from grace, the same way I couldn't keep Anakin from turning. Now, I sit in bed, crying and cursing myself over your demise and the many times before when I held my back my feelings for you.
**
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
**
There were so many times I could have told you how I felt, but I was scared. My heart trembled whenever I saw you. I was weak. I know that sounds weird; I'm in my thirties and in my youth, girls flocked around me and I reveled in it...until I met you.
**
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
**
I still can't imagine how I let you slip through my arms, the way you did. Whenever we met on a mission or just to talk, I had to fight myself. I wanted to kiss you and tell you everything, but you weren't thinking about me. Your heart belonged to him...not me and it hurt. I know I would never know your love, but even so, I was optimistic you would realize how much I felt for you and you would leave Ani. That never happened. He stayed with, so I did as well.
So, I stayed and I waited for the day you would realize I was the one. I think it happened but when it did, it was too late. It was your wedding day. You were so beautiful, a white silk gown and braided and curled hair and angel eyes. Everything was perfect, except you felt you couldn't go through with it. You said it didn't feel right, only you couldn't explain why. I held your chin and told you, you should walk down that aisle and not look back or even doubt. I wanted to hold you close forever and pray, you didn't hear what I said, but you left my arms and did exactly what I said.
**
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
**
Now, here I am, crouched, grieving for the times I didn't say anything. I can barely see you but I still remember your smile, the way it lit up your face. You were an angel. I see that now. You were so happy. Sometimes I would chide you on how you acted like a child whenever he was around, though I felt it was inappropriate. But as long as you were happy and you continued to smile, I remained silent, watching from afar.
**
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
**
But, now you're gone and I regret all the things I didn't say. I wish I could have kept you safe from him, held you tighter that day I had to let you go, wish you didn't hear my words. I can only pray to the Force, you're happy and have found peace. My gaze drifts to a lone room and I hear your son crying for company.
**
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
**
He's the only part of you I have and like you, I have to let him go. I don't want to because if I do, I fear I'll lose whatever memory I have of you. And your daughter. She looks just like you; the same eyes and angel face, it tears my heart to give her up as I gave you up.
**
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a
word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
**
I know I have to let go, but I can't. I'll lose the image of your face, the way you spoke, the way your cheeks sink into dimples when they smile, like mine... I'm standing on the edge of darkness and there's no one to pull me back from this pit of despair. I know you'll never know, but as long as I live now, I can't ever forget the times we spent together with unspoken words.
**
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
**
Now, all I can do is wait until I see you again and you realize how much you meant to me. Only wait, but until then, I know, I won't ever forget you...I just hope you won't forget me.
**
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
**
I remember...things would have been perfect. If Qui-Gon hadn't discovered Ani, I would hold you tight in my arms forever and never let you go. Only I did let go and now you're gone, only a ghost in dreams that will never be.
**
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
**
I remember the way you smiled at me at the Parade, the way you put your arm around me and whispered everything would be all right. I didn't hear what you said but I remember how everything I was feeling at that moment sudennly disappeared and all I felt was your warmth.
**
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
**
I just hope you can forgive me for not holding on and letting you go when I did. I know it was a mistake, but Anakin loved you and I loved him like a son. In way, I lost both of you. But when Anakin turned, all I could think about was how much you would hurt and how I could possibly make it better. I never had a love like you before.
I wish I had told you everything.
I wish I had held on tighter.
I wish I could still see your smile.
But, all I can do is wish until the day we're reunited and I can finally tell you everything you deserved to hear. And I will remember you.
**
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories
The End