Title: Good Enough
Author: obi's girl
Summary: Padme ponders if she was ever good enough for
Anakin; Obi-Wan comes along and tries to convince her
otherwise.
Genre:Angst/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Everything SW belong to Mr. Lucas. Good
Enough is by Sarah McLachlin's Mirrorball CD, which
did inspire me to write this piece.
Padme huffed as she stared at the horizon, overlooking the rest of Naboo. It was quiet, still early - always quiet. The palace had been forever silent since Anakin left. How she hated life without him. He was her anchor for so long and now, she didn't have an anchor anymore...except maybe for Obi-Wan. He had always been there for her. Even when she refused to believe Ani was dead, and he refused to leave her alone when she demanded he did, he never left her.
~~
Hey your glass is empty, it's a hell of a long way home
~~
So many nights when she cried herself to sleep, faintly she heard him cry on the other side. One night, after she calmed herself down, she heard him, crying and cursing himself. He cursed the Force for not showing him what was to be, cursed Qui-Gon for leaving him when he needed guidance the most. He was in pain, probably more pain than hers.
The former queen sighed, turned and walked to her own bed, pondering if it was all ever meant to be. She did love Anakin, he brought so much joy in her life but now, there was just shadows and darkness where there used to be light. She couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand what the universe had become. It was terrible. Padme propped her knees up, placing her head in between and sighed again.
Maybe she was never good enough for him. Maybe he was never good enough - maybe their love was destined to die, or maybe it was never meant to be in the first place.
"Never meant to be." She mused.
She glanced at the adjoining door. The only barrier between herself and Obi-Wan. He wanted her near in case there was an emergency. Padme held up her head, brushing away her silent tears and walked over to the door. She hesitated to open it, her finger dangling in the air before turning the knob. She walked into the silent room, searching for her protector.
~~
Why don't you let me take you,
it's no good to go alone,
I never would have opened up
but you seemed so real to me,
After all the bullsh*t I've heard
it's refreshing not to see,
I don't have to pretend,
she doesn't expect it from me
~~
Nothing.
He wasn't there even though he said he would always be there. He abandoned her, just like Anakin. Padme dropped onto the bed and started crying.
Obi-Wan nodded, watching the young queen punish herself. He walked over silently and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, smiled, grabbing him into an immense hug. "Obi-Wan, I thought you left me - like Anakin. I thought..."
"Hush. I would never leave you, Padme."
She smiled, letting go, finding herself stare back at him. The Republic was at an end, the Jedi - they were all dead, the Senate was no more and everyone had become slave to Palpitine, except those who believed someday there could be freedom.
~~
So don't tell me I
haven't been good to you,
Don't tell me I
haven't been there for you
Just tell me why
nothing is good enough
~~
So much had changed, she had changed - they both had. She was no longer the innocent girl she used to be and he was forced to grow up a lot sooner than he expected. But a pair they were. They needed each other, if they were going to survive.
"Um Padme, I went to talk to Bail Organa. I told him about our situation and he has agreed to allow you to stay on Alderaan. It will be your asylum, your sanctuary." He voiced, interrupting her thoughts.
Padme hesitated, "What about you? Where will you go?"
~~
Hey little girl would you like some candy,
your momma said that it's o.k.,
The door is open come on outside,
no I can't come out today,
It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder
and threw you to the ground,
~~
He shrugged, placing a hand on her stomach. "Your pregnant, Padme. I don't know how far along but as soon as they arrive.."
She frowned, "They?"
"Twins. Anakin's twins."
Padme nodded tears in her eyes as she looked away. She didn't want this to happen. She didn't want to leave her home. Naboo was her home and now it was part of a forgotten past, fairy tale that never was. "Obi-Wan, what happened? Why did this have to happen?"
He didn't answer, allowing her to continue. "Looking out there, I came to a realization. I realized I wasn't good enough. I was never good enough."
~~
Who's there that makes you so afraid
you're shaken to the bone,
You know I don't understand,
you deserve so much more than this
~~
The Jedi frowned, forcing her to look at him. "No Padme, don't blame yourself for this. It wasn't your fault. Anakin, your were his treasure - to him there was no one else."
"It was never meant to be Obi-Wan. If it was meant to be, he would still be here by my side."
Obi-Wan nodded yes, hugging her tightly. Padme choked back a cry, coming to a realization. "I'm going to lose them aren't I?"
"I wish you wouldn't have to. As soon as they come, we have to find a safe place to hide them and you." He wiped away a lonely tear and smiled despite himself. "I don't want this to happen anymore than you do, but if the Emperor finds out you have off spring, he'll bring them to the Darkside."
"Obi-Wan, will you dance with me?" she asked, shocking the Jedi.
He looked at her as if she was crazy but she led him from the balcony to the once decorated dining room hall. Padme held him close, praying she would have to never lose him. Obi-Wan felt her feelings and tightened his grip on his hands. She was so small, a petite woman but very strong, dignified but never weak. Padme was never weak in his eyes and right now, she was the strongest he had ever seen her. He loved her; he always loved her.
~~
So don't tell me why
he's never been good to you,
Don't tell me why
he's never been there for you,
And I'll tell you that why
is simply not good enough,
~~
"Padme..." Obi-Wan breathed as she silenced him with a passionate kiss. If it had been years earlier before this; if he hadn't allowed Anakin to fall for her, if he hadn't gave him his blessing to merry her... Now, because greed, hatred, jealousy of him, Padme was alone - they were both alone. He breathed in her scent as she backed away slightly. "I'm sorry for all that happened - Anakin most of all; sorry I wasn't able to save him."
"You Jedi never dwell on the past; mostly because the future is constantly in motion." She mused, "Let's not live in the past, Obi-Wan. The future is all we have; there's nothing else. And my children, whatever happens I want you to keep an eye on them - be their guardian Angel as you have been mine for as long as I can remember."
He smiled hopefully, kissing her cheek, "Always Padme. Always."
"I will always love you, Obi-Wan."
The Jedi hugged her tighter, but not too much to crush her petite body. "And I you, your highness."
~~
So just let me try
and I will be good to you
Just let me try
and I will be there for you,
I'll show you why
you're so much more than good enough
~~ The End ~~