Title: Chiffon Curtains
Author: Candy
Author's Notes: It's a sappy romantic thing going on between Obi-Wan and Amidala. Have fun. Luv alwayz ~*Candy*~
I stand by my tall balcony window. The glass is open and I could step out onto the balcony if I wanted. But it is too painful. Too cold. He proposed to me right there. The tears flow freely. Why did this happen? Why? My eyes are focused on the stars above and my curtains dance around me. I hear the door open slowly. A dark shadowy figure slowly advances to me. His face becomes illuminated by the moonlight. Obi-Won...
Looking into his face, I can see the love. His eyes, so blue and sincere, so full of life, drill a hole into my heart, a hole which he needs to fill with his love. I don't understand why things must be like this. Why must I hide my feelings? Why? The thoughts are there and the words are jammed up in my throat, so why can't I speak? I am the ruler of a planet, I should have enough courage to tell someone how I feel. It was so much easier with... No, Amidala, No... don't bring it up again. It shall only cause more tears. More then the ones being shed right now.
He has me in his arms now. I am crying. He thinks it's just because of... the accident... but it's not. Half of it is because I love him, and I cannot do A THING! It's driving me insane. If only I knew how he felt. If only his eyes, his actions, his voice, would betray him once... Then I could say something. But if he remains silent... I cannot... WILL not say a thing, not a word.
I must calm down. I shouldn't cry like this, not in front of him. But he's so warm, so caring, so strong... He whispers loving words in my ear; soothing sayings to calm my nerves. I also believe he is using a bit of the force. Let him, by all means. "Ami..." he whispers softly, "I'm sorry... he was a dear friend to me... you must also try to realize the guilt and sorrow..." he cokes back a sob as more of my tears soak his Jedi garments. "You must realize... that even though I didn't love him the way you did... I still loved him, like my own son. And I feel exactly the same as you. Please, Ami, try to find it in your heart... to forgive me."
I grip his back tightly as my body racks with sobs. Forgive him? I can do that. Not in a heartbeat, but I can forgive him. I was not there, I do not know all that happened, just what he told me. I could not see his eyes... the eyes that Obi-Won said were full of anger and rage... not the gentle ones that used to be. I must say something, or Obi-Won will do something drastic. "I... I don't know what to say..." I whisper almost mutely. "You killed him... you were the one who made him..." I can feel his tears drop onto my hair and feel his chest rise at an unsteady pace as he tries to hold back more tears from forming. "But..." I continue with a shudder, "You... would never... lie to me. So I believe you... that it was an accident..."
He seems relieved but still anguished. "Ami... I... I had to take you away from him, and that... that is why he attacked me." It's believable. He... he hasn't been the same since he met the "Emperor." He is not the same man that I married. And now, while Obi-Won holds me in his arms, whispering words of comfort and sorrow in to my chestnut hair, I almost wonder why. Why did I marry Anakin? Because you loved him. But, you've always loved Obi-Won too.
"I..." he continues, "Ami... I did it to protect you... I never meant... for it to come... to this." His voice cracks. More tears fall. "I... I... somehow..." I stutter quietly, "Somehow, I knew. I knew... when I received the letter... about his death... that you hadn't done it intentionally. I... I always believed you." I raise my face from his shoulder and look him in the eyes. "Ami..." he whispers softly. I cannot hold back any longer! This passion, this need, this want, this longing... it's too much for me to bear! My quivering eyes close tightly and I push my lips to his.
He is taken aback, but still pleased for he responds the way I hoped. He kisses me back and grips me tighter. I run my hand through his short blonde hair and sigh. The wind blows through my balcony windows and rustles the chiffon curtains around us. He slides his hands down my waist and stops at my lower back. I feel his tongue licking my tear-moistened lips and get the hint. I open my mouth slightly and feel his tongue toy with mine. My heart races and my head pounds. Why is my room spinning? I moan as his mouth leaves mine and moves to my neck. His hands wander across my body and I caress his neck. He brings his lips back to mine and kisses me deeply again. Pushing me against the wall, he pins my arms and kisses me harder.
The curtains flow around us now, like waves in the ocean, as the wind sails through my room. He's going to knock me out the window if he doesn't take it easy. He allows me to free my arms. I tilt my head to another angle, and run my hands up his chest. Nothing is going to ruin this moment. The wind dies down and the curtains fall across our figures. A loud knock at the door causes us to break our kiss. "Your majesty?" calls a voice, Sabe. "What is it Sabe?" I call huskily, my voice still shaken from the kiss. "Master Yoda has been waiting for sometime now for you to come out of your room.... He wishes to speak with you and Obi-Won."
I glance at the Jedi, who is no longer holding me. His face is fightfully pale and his eyes are wide. What is he worried about? "Tell him I will be just a moment." "Yes your majesty." Calls Sabe.
"Obi-Won , are you alright?" He looks from the door to me. The wind howls and breaks the uncomfortable silence. He sighs, straightens his tunic and strokes my face sadly. "Ami... he knows..." I raise an eyebrow and then my eyes widen with realization. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO IGNORANT? Yoda can feel the force and what it does. When Obi-Won was... kissing me... the force inside of him must have increased a great amount. Yoda can sense this... he knows!
I sigh and look down. White chiffon flows around us and our eyes lock. "This... cannot happen. WE cannot happen, Obi-Won." I say sullenly. WHY do things have to be this way? I love him! He loves me! WHY? "I know." He says quietly. Another knock.
"Your majesty?"
"In a moment Sabe!"
"Yes my liege."
"Obi-Won.... Just know that..." I can't get it out. It hurts too much. Chiffon is everywhere, and with it's gentle sway, it seems to block the problems of my life away. "Please, Ami... if you say it... I will not be able to hold back. And we shall be in grave danger. Please, my queen, be silent." A tear trickles down his cheek, and lingers on his chin. I kiss the tear and sigh. I move from his chin to his lips and softly say, without words, good-bye.
I step out of the safe haven of his arms, and walk out of the swirling curtains. He stands there by my open window and watches me exit my room. I look back one final time at his silhouette in the moonlight. My curtains flail around him as the wind echoes through my room. I close the door behind me and sigh. A tear trickles down my cheek and smacks the marble floor. I have lost him before I ever truly had him.
But my chiffon curtains shall always remind me...